Craig Saunders

craigToday, I’ve lured Craig Saunders into the isolation tank.  All I did was tell him there was a study by the sea down the stairs and behind the door…and a heater….and maybe I mentioned some hot cocoa.

Why writing?  What drew you to it? Why do you continue?

My missus caught me watching midget porn one time, and now I hide it behind a Word document. I thought I might as well do something while I wait…

Or, perhaps, more truthfully (bullet points OK? 😉

Me! Yep, I write for me. I don’t work, not really (writing’s not work, I think, more of a vocation or something fancy like that…), so I need something to do to keep my mental at bay. It’s a release, of sorts, cathartic rather than palliative (haha! what a nerd!) and…

Oh, alright, really? For the money. I’m skint, and my study’s cold. I’d like a study overlooking the sea. With a heater. Not too much to ask, is it? Yeah – money, pretty much.

If you were freezing to death and the only thing left to burn were the books in your library, what 5 books would you burn last?  (And yes, everything else burnable has been burnt.)

I am freezing to death! Told you – it’s cold in here. Last winter we had snow for something like six weeks (unusual for where I live, Norfolk, England…stalkers welcome…BYOB), and it got to -9 in my study. Anyway…

Books, you say? I’d be screwed with my Kindle, eh? Didn’t think of that, did they, when they stopped making books out of carboniferous…oh poop…I went and said carboniferous…

Am I supposed to be answering these questions? What was the question?

I think I’d save Swan Song (McCammon), The Ritual (Nevill), Skinners (Millard), Graverobbers Wanted (Strand), and The Haunted (Little)…no real reason other than that’s my TBR list.

What’s the most challenging thing you’ve done (in life or in writing (your choice))?

In life – family. And maybe giving up smoking. That was pretty tough. But not as tough as babies, I suppose.

In writing? Every time I sit down to write, it’s challenging. I always try to write something that challenges me…plus, I’m a bit thick, so making of words go boom stuff.

What’s one word or phrase that drives you nuts?  Why?

‘Advance against royalties’…that’s a good one.

Do you have a favorite character you’ve created?  If so, who is it and why?

Coleridge, a chubby, dysfunctional Norfolk police detective, in ‘The Love of the Dead’ from Evil Jester Press. Why? Don’t really know – I liked him because he was broken, but a bit cool, too.

Creepiest place you’ve ever been?  Has it appeared in your fiction?  Why or Why  not?

Townshend! It’s a road on an estate nearby. It’s creepy as hell. Just quiet…cats with no tails that make no noise, no people but lots of cars, next to an old stately home kind of place that overlooks the whole estate. It features in ‘The Estate’, which I’ve just placed with Crowded Quarantine Publications…and it’s also my first and favourite of my horror novels.

What’s the best rejection you’ve ever received?

I’ve received a ton of rejections, and some very nice ones. I think Graham Masterton telling me he wouldn’t provide an endorsement for one of my novels was a highlight – he was an absolute gentleman.

How did you get that scar?

Which one?! I’ve got lots of scars…one from shaving when I was three years old, one from a golf club, a couple from a nail gun, some on my knuckles from glass…I’ve led a pretty sheltered life 😉

What song would precede your entrance into a room if we all had personal soundtracks?

Ha. Dirge by Death in Vegas

Promote yourself and/or your writing

Alright…really? You really want to go there? It’s not pretty, but you asked!

M-O-O-N. That spells ‘Craig Saunders’. I Google myself sometimes.

Here’s what I found:

(my latest blog)

(my first blog)

@petrifiedtank on Twitter

A really long stream of digits on my Facebook fanpage…easier just to do a search for Craig Saunders Author… (or just click on the link)

There’s an author page on the various Amazons – just bash in Craig Saunders (on the keyboard, not literally…)  (or just click on the link)

I’m doing an interview with the paper this week…that’s cool, right? I’ll be appearing at random locations around and about – I’ll post on the above sites in due course. I had a book signing once.

I had a website once, but I took it out in the garden, shot it in the face and buried it under an ornamental cherry tree.

There are pictures of me and my work on that Google contraption. There are also a few bits and bobs if you search for ‘Craig Saunders Author’ or some reasonable approximation…

Erm…there’s more, but rather than boring the pants off all your readers, I think the above will probably do for now 😀

Final thoughts before you run screaming for your life?

Thank you, Rebecca, for putting up with my nonsense. I love a ramble, and it’s really rather nice of you to let me out of my little shed for some much needed sunshine time.

Thank you, Mr. Saunders, for that amusing rendition of …  Oh.  Wait.  I think I’ve lost my train of thought.  Thank you for answering my questions.  Now, punch your way through the glass and weave through my collection of silent tailless cats (of which I actually have one…she’s blind and toothless as well…and perfectly happy for those wondering at the state of such a cat…she chases the local dog).  If you open a door leading to an estate , you have the correct exit.  If not, good luck with that.

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